Its no secret i've been a little MIA. & i'm completely sorry from the softest part of my beating heart. 

Sometimes there's nothing more comforting then letting all your thoughts run wild onto your journal. 

Tonight my story begins with something that all comes into our lives at least once. Love.

Whether it comes from your parents, family, friends or even your admirable someone. I guess what I am trying to say and failing terribly at it is, I hate loosing people I love. Like what? Why the heck does it have to happen? 

Goodbyes aren't my favorite,

And sometimes I just have to tuck myself under my big fluffy white covers and cry myself to sleep because I feel like I've lost some part of me. I don't understand why the trials we have happen to us. But I know they have a purpose. It's all part of gods plan. He knows where to place the puzzle pieces and I don't. 

I can't seem to help but let all my tears out tonight. (Call me a crybaby but hey..it happens right?)  my little brother Joaquin seems to inspire me all the time. Knowing that he stands at the Saviors feet makes me want to become like him & push forward everyday so when the day comes, I'll stand with him again.

{ Forgive me as you mentally watch me break down. }

Joaquin's 3 year anniversary 

We miss you.

Guys, College. It's right around the corner. My life is moving faster than ever.

Time for me to figure out who I, Desiree Jasmin Rogers am& Who I'm going to become. Who god wants me to become. We are all put here on this earth for a reason and I'm going to figure out my purpose. Time to enjoy the journey & learn from everything I do.

i believe in christ.
so come what may.
with him i'll stand,
in that great day.

Xoxo.

+ miss desi

I haven't done this in quite the while, So bare with me and my late night thoughts tonight..or morning to be literally correct.

It's 3:13 am on a lovely Friday morn and I'm inside the coolest fort (made by my sister and I ) watching Netflix and holding my breathe while holding in my pee... Yes, I just said I'm holding in my pee. Hashtag # first world probs. I've treated myself with watching Netflix all night! I haven't watched Netflix in forever and I'm definitely glad to watchin my shows again.

Christmas! Christmas! I missed my post on Christmas! & whole bunches of things which means this post might just end up being a novel. Like I said, bare with meh!

First.. My year has been made because, yes, some felluh asked me on a date to see the temple square holiday lights!! Not only once, but I got to go two times!! I'm quite the lucky gal! 

First date//

Second round//

The Christmas season is my absolute favorite because you get to sit back hang out with family, eat tons of food without getting looked at like they can see your future in a big lump of fatness, listen and sing to the happiest most jolliest songs ever created, cuddle, drink hot cocoa, take rad pictures of blurry lights to post on every social media you might possibly have and last but not least sit on the lap of the one and only Santa freakin dinkin' clause!

Something inside of my head is banging hard on my head tellin me "yuhh.. Desi? I thinks it's uh time you get yourself some rest"  but no..I must fight this fight and type the type!

I'll sum up my long long story to a tiny story. Here it goes:

I have amazing friends!! Yes there was a "s" on the end of friends! I love my family! My "like" life is great!! Because the guy I like is THE best. Wayho. And The Lord is always by my side!! Which ends my story well. Sweet dreams peeps.

HB to my pappa frito.

Xoxo 

me.

It's been a long day

And all I've got to say is make it strong

It's been a long day

And all I've got to say is I've been wrong

So take a leave of absence

Tell me you'll be gone

I don't want to see your face

It's been a long day

And I just wanna hide away

It's been a long week

And all the lines come down heavy on me

Its been a long week

I'm finally feeling like its okay to break

Into a thousand pieces

No one can replace

Only I can find my way

It's been a long day

And I just wanna hide away

Its been a long year

And everyone around me's disappeared

It's been a long year

And all this mess around me is finally clear

So can I have a moment

Just to say hello?

Can you let your anger go?

It's been a long year

And I'm finally ready to be here

To those in my life, I love you

If I could describe my week in one word it would be  y o l o

I couldn't have asked for better friends than the ones I have now. Friends that constantly wipe my tears&friends that I can absolutley be crazy with. 

Tuesday I had a dance concert & my guy(lol what do you call someone when you have feelings for eachother..but you're not bf/gf? Like you should be but you're not...) my mom,papa,my amazing friends and grandma showed up to support me dance. Such a small simple thing for them to show up but it meant a ton! Especially when "my boy" said "I came just for you" 

It's the little things. They all add up

Thursday was our last home game (until playoffs that is) ODC performed at the half time .. #confession I thought I danced terrible so I legit cried In my bestfriends arms for about 10 seconds because that could've been my last time to perform ever on that beautiful OHS football feild. Lucky enough (thanks to The Lord) WE WON!! Yes, I loveee watching our tigers play and successfully win! Unfortunately keian got hurt and couldn't play.. But lucky for me I got a good picture with him !

Since he couldnt really do anything but chillax I got to spend my Friday night cuddling up to him watching a scary movie with his homies!

Then finally this fantastic weekend came to a close dressing my mom up for a pirate party and me heading out to have a blast with my friends.. I can't even say the things we did.. They were just too fun. An experience you had to be there to even understand!

I've been extremely blessed. 

I love every single person that's ever walked into my life, for they have changed me for the better! 

Make this week count! Love The Lord and count your blessings!

Xoxo 

Blessed

The Lord never ceases to fail me, Even in my darkest most lost moments. 

Last night I lyed in bed with only one thing on my mind. I couldn't sleep

I went to sacrament and this sweet old lady arose to the stand to give her talk. 

My mind was still glued to my problem. All my intestines twisted and turned until I felt completely most utterly empty. My heart was thumping uncontrollably. Tears wanted to rush out my eyes but I had to stay strong. 

I said a small prayer in my heart begging..begging for his help. 

Then my attention focused to the sacrament speaker. Her strong but simple words touched my spirit. The words she spoke kept pearcing my soul and softening my heart. "He left what he loved , for something he loved even more(the savior)" 

The answer to my prayer. 

I literally had to close my eyes and try to hold back all the grateful tears that wanted to pour out. At my lowest point, when I thought all was lost.. The Lord was there for me . To tell me everything was ok. I'm here for you.

Writing this now , I'm still bawling. 

I'm so blessed to know the gospel. To know that I can ask for help with an open heart and hear what I need to hear. I'm so blessed. I can't even explain my love for the savior . I have a strong testimony on prayer and the unconditional love the savior has for each and every one of us.

Xoxo.

P.s. I had the best Sadie's date. Hott. Muscles. And funny. 

I love you all.

Prompt

When your best friend is dreaming endlessly and going through her own problems as it is the only person besides God that you can talk to around this time of night is.. Yourself. 

My fingers seems to freeze because what I want to write..AH lets just face the fact that I sound complainy when I write about this certain subject.

Listening to my one and only bon over doesn't seen to help the fact any either because his music puts me into bottomless thought and I want to cry for no reason at all. Maybe because his music is so enticing. Overall lesson : overthinking kills you.

Sometimes the Holy Ghost prompts you do something. Listen.

Because I was just promoted to watch a Mormon message and my loneliness left.

"If we have faith in Jesus Christ the hardest as well as easiest of times in life can be a blessing. In all conditions we can choose the right with guidance of the spirit. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape and guide our lives if we choose it. We never need feel that we are alone or unloved In the lords service. We can feel the love of God. The savior had promised angels on our left and on our right to bear us up and he always keeps his word"- Elder Henry B. Eyring 

This simple but true loving statement shaped my night very differently. 

I am filled with the lords love. I know he knows what I'm feeling. I know he cares. I know. I'm blessed. 

He wiped away my sweet salty tears that rolled down my face tonight. 

It's nice to fall asleep happy. Loved and watched over. Did I already say. I'm blessed.

Here is my very sweet angel.

Be happy sweet souls .

Yours truly.

Desiree

| i dig black and white |

5 things to enjoy any weekend:

+ Ice Cream (unless you live in Utah and are trying to pull through the numbing weather..now, would probably not be a great time)

+ Hot Chocolate (only because I do live in Utah and am living through extreme polar weather. . yes I did exaggerate a little. . but I swear that is how I feel once I step outside) 

+ A great movie

+ sleeping in past 4:45 A.M .Lets make that 8AM

+ Best Friends

+ A boyfriend. Cuddles. Kisses. sadly enough.. I dont have one..SO. just boys in general

+ {one of my favorites} COD.zommmbies! 

+ Music

+ EXTRA SLEEP.

+ pinterest.

So. My weekend was amusing. Spent time with my girl Connie to go visit a sweet soul to wish her a very happy birthday.and guess to the what?.. Shes Cals sister. It was a bit weird to spend time in that house again but there is always good vibes there. After,we hung out with probably some of the hottest guys. Mike Kee. Zac and Sasha..along with the silly billy. SO i guess Mikes basement is haunted?.. haha Its always fun to get the adrenalin rush. Never a dull time with them. Before we went home we took a sweet drive down to provo and listened to our one and only bon iver and just cried because that's what girls do. Cried because.. We are growing up and we cant stop time to be little kids. Cried because bon ivers music just makes us want to cry Cried because we are single ( literal LOL) but you know what? who cares.

we have eachother. And i couldn't be more blessed to have such a great friend.

xx- Desi