christmas wishlist

Christmas wishlist

hanging plant terrarium

state necklace

money

hola. ok as many of you obviously already know.. christmas is literally around the corner. that was fast right? I swear I went on my first date up to temple square a month ago! It also seems like I was sitting down at my old wooden table at home w writing a christmas wish list to my favorite person, Santa Clause. As i got older I grew out of the barbie/doll stage and went onto technology onto clothes and now im sitting here thinking if i am even still allowed to write a christmas list. haha im old now and despite that fact.. i made my own little christmas list. HAHA. (hate on it) This year I asked santa..whoever that might be.. for 1// a terrarium (i probably spelled that wrong, whoops) because they are so CUTE! i love little things and plants. 2// a state necklace. HA you probably already have the idea on why i might want a state necklace..but that ill share for another time. 3// MONEY. probably the thing i most need right now.. just saying it gives me the ~eeber jeebers (what? is that even a word??) Soooo, i'm moving back home..yada yada yada. I put my room up for sale a while ago and STILL am searching. ask me how upset i am 1-5...definitely a 5. Unfortunately that means i will have to buy it out.. which will cost 400 dollars i do not have. did that scare you for me? because it surely scared me. anyhoo..if any of you know a place i can sale my place quicker or would like to dontate to the poor (AKA me.) I would appreciate it. 

Onto a not so stressful topic thanksgiving was..great! very different, but great. I got to spend time with not only one of my families but BOTH this year because I am 18. finally. and i would loveee to splurge on all the things i am thankful for this year. thankful for the gospel..it's taught me everything I know and has guided me for the better. I know it's what brings me true happiness. I'm thankful i have a little angel who is there for me no matter what. I know know know know that he watches over me and i couldnt have asked for a better friend. OBVIOUSLY family! I wouldn't be where I am today without them. I've grown to know how important they truly are and how much we need family in our life. there would be a never ending list of things they have done for me. I am also thankful for my friends..my friends now and past friends because i think that there are pieces of everyone I ever spent time with in my personality. I am thankful for my freedom, health and college. for college because I have personally grown more than I ever have. I am emotionally stronger and more outgoing which has helped me beyond imagination. My friends here have taught me so much in ways i wouldn't be able to learn anywhere else. They've given me challenge(so many), hope, guidance and they accept me for who I am. They let me sing in tones that aren't even real, they can watch me dance the weirdest moves out there. they can look me in the eye when tears are falling down my face and make up smeared all over. they've listened to all my crazy boy drama and help me realize what will be best for me.They don't hide from my natural beauty hehe and they can handle how crazy obnoxious I am. They listen to my non stop talking(crazy to believe I know) but they are there for me and I couldn't be more blessed. In the end i'm most thankful for music..lol jk that's not what i am most thankful for but ya..it's high on the list. The list could go on and on but there is something called time..and im loosing track of it..so I definitely need to get sleep.

until next time.

xoxo

Count your Blessings

tonight is going to be one of those silly nights where I'll come back to read this post in the morning and be like WHY oh WHY DID YOU POST THIS FOR THE WORLD TO SEE? Yes, I am allowing myself to feel bad for myself tonight.

Anyhoo, tonight is the night where all my feelings and anger towards the people I live with have gone out the roof. 

It's hard coming home to a room filled with so much unknown tension. It's hard to come home and hear your "friends" talk behind your back in the other room. It's hard to do nice things for people and have them be so indescribably rude back and lastly it's hard living far away from my family knowing that in this situation just being in their mere presence would make me happy. I simply can't wait to be back home where I have friends who are constantly building me up and being able to be surrounded by family. Holy patooti I'll be the happiest girl on this planet.

I'm being a baby. No doubt about it. I would say I'm totally fine with tears running down my face and that there are tissues all about my floor but..I'm a poor college student and tissues can be sacrificed on the shopping list..so no I don't have any tissues on my floor because they do not exist, although the salty clear tears do.

Let me just say..find friends who RESPECT you. In all aspects.

Jesus works in mysterious ways. Never fails. Right as I'm feeling down and bad for myself I get a friendly reminder that I'm not the only one out there struggling with friend problems or any problem to be honest. I'm blessed beyond measure to know I have family and friends who DO love me. People may hurt me and push me down but I know I'll always be loved by friends and family. I'm thankful to know what prayer is and that I can use it WHENEVER. I know that I am heard and loved unconditionally by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and it warms my heart to even think of it. Basically..when you're feeling down.. Look at all the things that have benefited you for good.

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,

1. When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings; name them one by one,And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.So amid the conflict, whether great or small, Do not be discouraged; God is over all. Count your many blessings; angels will attend, Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.
   
   
   Yes, I just googled the lyrics for this helpful hymn. Thankful for copy and paste. Oh boy hahaha. 
   
   
   Count your blessings.
   Xx

To be honest I've been sitting on my bed with the laptop screen shining in my face trying to think of some clever way to start my post. crossing my fingers hoping one day it'll come to me like nothing, but for now you're stuck with me explaining how difficult it is.

this weekend here in st. George has been nothing but cold weather ( 64 degrees and yes i'm complaining. please explain to me how I convinced myself to move back home in the dead of winter )
football season is over leaving us with nothing to do..unless you have money. HA, sorry bout it but i'm a broke college student so ya I've been sitting at home on my cozy bed staring at the ceiling for hours thinking of what a poor college student(I) should do that doesn't cost much money. hmm. guys it's harder than it seems.

today has consisted of chips, cereal and playing taylor swifts new song blank space over and over and over. butttttt hold your horses kids the good part is finally coming through despite all the horribly boring things I've done today/this weekend. I've always taken for granted how truly blessed we are to see the things we see, hear the things we hear and feel the things we feel. How beautiful it all is. What the, where did that come from? well guys, I went and saw the giver. Holy, round of applause on round of applause. In some sort of way I got thrown back into time, where we all sat at a great council. choosing what plan we'd take. One plan (Christ's plan) so beautiful that it gave us agency..but with it came difficulties or one (Lucifer's plan) where we'd be forced to follow certain ways(no agency) in order to be perfect to return to our heavenly father. In the movie the black and white world to me was Lucifer's plan..and when the young boy saw color and remembered his feelings such as love pain and sorrow.. that was Christ's plan. It was so beautiful. I don't know but honestly It gave me the chills when he felt things again. The beauty of giving birth, animals, color, a simple kiss. It assured me that this plan that we have chosen is the right one. It was beautiful. highly recommend you to see it. ONE MORE MONTH AND I AM HOME ! here we go, let's make it count.

xoxo

help a sister out

Help a sista out! I am trying to sale my dorm room so I can move back home! 

Some people have contacted me about it but they seem very fishy..tehe

If you know of any good places where i can put up an add or know someone who wants to move in I would lovee to know. 

It's on campus and I can already tell you you'll have great roomates! It is $795 / Semester and you can make monthly payments! For more info visit this website.. http://dixie.edu/housing/nisson.php 

Contact me at : 801-400-9304 or email at desir0596@gmail.com

xoxo

sunday feliz

 

I feel like every time I express my love about the savior and everything he has done for me it is the same thing. but I promise you it is different every time and the feelings only get more and more stronger, exciting and happy ..more more more! I absolutely love it.

 

I made a decision over the summer..one I was sure of. I knew I wanted it..I wanted it more than anything! I cried out unto the lord praying for help and guidance as I went forward with the decision I had just made. I let the people closest to me know of my choice and the reasoning behind it. It was scary in a sort of happy way. I did my best everyday not knowing that slowly but surely another choice (path) would be presented to me in short time. choices, oh boy oh boy..there is opposition in all things as we know, even in the choices we make. They can either be good or bad.

this new choice was presented to me so beautifully (if that even makes any sense..)IN THAT MOMENT. I had a whole new eye, a blind one. My whole goal I was pushing for all summer was gone in two seconds. I lost it. I didn't realize until just today that satan had been working on me all summer and I was pulled in so carefully and strategically didn't even notice.

 

I've been a little lost lately. It happens to all of us. wondering what in the poo we are going to do with our lives, if we are walking the right path, doing the right things etc etc. Sometimes when we get lost we distance ourselves from the things we love most, at least I know I do. Praying, reading my scriptures, doing small acts of kindness every day went from a typical everyday thing to do to something that I just couldn't do. I could open my scriptures but my mind would wander off and get distracted. Not until a couple weeks ago, I headed up north (aka home) for a weekend and spent time with a close friend who reminded me in their own genuine way who I was and am. Two friends gave me a blessing. Simple but very powerful. I felt a power so strongly in my heart I knew, I knew with my whole heart that beats now..that I was loved. I was loved more than I could ever comprehend. I knew I could still follow him even if I had messed up. I knew I was still welcome with welcome arms. Every time I fall I get up stronger.

 

I am here today telling you that I've never been so close to god than now. My heart and soul is so sure of it. I am so moved by his teachings that there is no possible way this church isn't true..because IT IS SO TRUE. It's the surest thing I know. I've never felt so happy about something.

xoxo

 

happy sunday

home

holy guacamole am I excited to move back home. WAIT WHAT? yes, the news is out to those of you who don't know..i am coming home. well, tonight was spent attempting to empty my closet filled with dirty and clean clothes(yes, dirty and clean because sometimes I get lazy and just..ya i'm sure you can relate) because this weekend, my roommate decided to head north back home which leaves the room to myself! OH DO I LIVE FOR THESE DAYS. you honestly don't know how amazing it is to have a room to yourself until you live with someone else. Let's just say all my clothes are clean and put away as if cinderellas mice and birds came to clean up after me. SUPA CLEAN. either you got that or you didn't..i tried k? just laugh.

honestly, tonight I wanted it to be me myself and I. BUT that sure didn't happen. I got a few knocks at my door and felt like the biggest brat on the planet because I sort of just kicked them out. whoops. #sorrynotsorry. unfortunately, I couldn't keep up being the brat I was and let a friend in. not a bad idea. I GUESSSS..the word is out that i'm not "worth it" because smoking weed, drinking and having sex isn't my scene. To be completely honest, at first I was kind of hurt but then I realized holy .. that's the best compliment. I AM WORTH IT BECAUSE OF THAT. shut up dumb Dixie boys. guys, please just hear me out and let me vent for like three seconds (k maybe more but..still) ALL ANYONE WANTS TO DO HERE IS DRINK DRUGS AND HAVE SEX! AND YES THIS ALL HAS TO BE IN CAPS SO YOU KNOW HOW REAL I AM BEING. ok, venting sesh is over. *takes a few deep breaths* breathe des breathe. "nobody can make you feel inferior unless you let them" -Eleanor Roosevelt

wait. hold up puhhhleeease! back to the topic about me moving home..Jesus please (kinda, sort of, not begging) let me pack up all my best friends I have met here in my suitcase and let them live with me 5ever. seriously though. why do the cons have to over weigh the pros on this decision of me moving. holy patootie. *sheds a tear or two* why does life do this to us? perty please explain.
\
guys, my best friend turned in his mission papers yesterday!  AH this is legit happening. please help me. feeling so happy for him right now it is so unreal. THE CHURCH IS SO TRUE. I've seen the lords hand bless me in so many ways this past week. #blessed. yeah, I've thrown out two hashtags in this post and I don't even mind. the haters can't seeeeee. (woah, i'm getting a little too dorky) *takes a second to giggle because of how excited I am to have the room to myself* tehe. so when my friend came over to visit today we had this huge long heart to heart about relationships. oh boy 0-100 real quick. I loved what he said though..let me attempt to repeat what he said..shoot i'm gunna  butcher it. basically he told me when you are in a relationship with someone take the time to step back with them and say are they helping me become a better person? where is this going and where will this lead me? I really took deep thought into that and looked around at my friends thinking in my head those questions bud said. which ones were really actually helping me and which friends am I helping or should be helping? kind of really got deep for a sec.

anyhoo. I'll end this post with something true, genuine and something that will warm your heart either now or later in the future. Yes, it is a scripture because what else would it be? Isaiah 49:15-16 || I will not forget you. I have written you on the palms of my hands.

xoxo

Me

 

 

 

At this very moment.. It's Halloween. The one Holiday you can run around scaring the shiz out of people. Please excuse my French. Right now I am getting the "shiz" scared out of. Someone is literally shaking my door handle and foolish me opened the door to see no one there..but the scary part is it KEEPS HAPPENING! SOS. on the real though because my roommate is not here to be scared with me so this is serious. Tehe. Jk i'll be safe. but out of 10 how scared I am right now is a real 100.

So...basically I was going to write this deep well thought out post and my whole train of thought left me because someone decided it'd be funny to scare me. not cool..not cool at all.

Right now I would LOVE to spill my guts out about the power of prayer! HOLY GUACAMOLE. where do I even begin? Let me just say I can testify that Heavenly Father hears your prayers. promise. I can even pinky promise you. Even with the smallest problems I am struggling with I know that I can get on my knees with a humble heart and turn to my father in heaven and pour out my soul. And he truly listens to everything you have to say. this past month I've been struggling with so many things..trying to keep up living as a college student. I started seeing so many little changes throughout my day. Seeing his hand, leading me and guiding me. AND I LOVE IT. One of my closest friends is getting ready to turn in his mission papers and I have SO many mixed emotions about it. 1 being IM SO SO SO SO PROUD of him! I can not believe it. It's a good feeling. I'm also so excited for him. All the things he's going to experience. I can not wait to hear about them. But then I get super sad thinking I he won't be a text away. BUT I KNOW I KNOW IT'S ALL FOR THE GOOD. I'm proud of him. truly. He's been such an example to me lately. I look up to him in so many ways.

 

 

Me + Keian Mcgeeee Oct. 2014

 

Anyhoo. Maybe one night I'll get the time to actually sit down and write my guts out but tonight..is just not the night. But for now..xoxo.

 

I've been deprived of writing lately and I absolutely hate it. My mind has been brimming with abounding thoughts and when I finally get the time to sit down to write..my mind is bare.
College for me has been a love hate thing. I live in a whole different environment from where I grew up..and like I said it's a love hate thing. I've never wanted to live and grow closer to Christ than now AND I have also never had so much temptation thrown at me. I sat down on my college sized twin bed to array all the thoughts in my head. I was so defeated on WHY there is so much evil around me? Why I can't seem to find someone who strives to live the same standards I do. there was no answer. I couldn't come up with anything. I cried out in my heart "why? why?" silly right? Later that week I attended church, It was fast and testimony meeting (my fav). A young woman walked up to the pulpit..with uneasiness in her voice words began to flow out of her mouth. She shared a story about when she was a freshman and how she realized that coming here to this college was hard for her. She struggled with many temptations and hardships but then she began to turn it around..she said "It was a test to prove myself." and right there I knew God had answered my cry "why? why?"

This weekend I was blessed to attend General Conference! (You're jealous, I know.unless you're Odalys who is my suitemate that just informed me she wasn't jealous. tehe) The feeling of the spirit overwhelmed me there. Absolute beauty in everything. I always love the feeling that takes over whenever the spirit is present..it's greater than any feeling. The words that were spoken were amazing..I long for that ability to speak such empowering words. I always leave knowing I am a child of God. Those few words hit me so strong because it's true. I love it. Thomas S Monson // be a little better, a little kinder, show respect, extend our concern, try to do the right things, be a light to the world...Simple but SO GOOD. love love love love.

If someone knows where I can get these adorable plants please spill the beans. I want *heart eyes* *about to change subjects super quick*

I've learned to grow the love for being alone. Don't get me wrong I revel in other peoples company but being alone can be fun and in college it's totally OK if you're walking, sitting or heck even talking alone. I am perfectly content and satisfied with the smallest of things.

Beware, not in any sort of Halloween sense since it is October. But more of the fact that this post will be filled with random late night thoughts.

First ill start out with a few IPhone friendly picture I took this week for the fun of it.

Selfie. Because we all need a little selfies in our lives sometimes am I right?

A picture I took in my lovely small dorm bathroom

The two cute bracelets on my wrist are my absolute favorite..One from my mom

that I received on Christmas and the other..tbh i'm not really sure where I got it but it is adorable.

heheheheh. this is legit the lamest blog I hav EVER written. My B.

keep it real nuggs.

Mahalo



 

...

I stare at this picture and still can not get over how beautiful it is, and to think it was taken by an iPhone. please, lets hold the round of applause till end.

 

Any typical college weekend in Saint George.. the night is young at the hour of 11, the smell of alcohol kills the air, drugs are passed around and desperate girls seem to end up getting laid in a guys room or at the edge of a toilet seat. This particular weekend my roommate left town and lucky me got the room to myself. never felt better *giggles* In my head, this weekend was going to be better than most. Unfortunately ..there was a little twist and listening to the spirit was definitely one to save me.

I never thought i'd ever be in a situation where i'd have to choose between staying with friends while they drank or to get up, leave an spend the night alone ..but last night was that time. Listening to the still small voice ended up getting me out of a citation worth 300$ and saving two friends along the way. It amazes me. I know in my heart God watches over us and works in mysterious ways.

 

This weekend has also thrown me into a flashback tornado. High School students posting their homecoming pics like come on you're killin me! I WANT TO BE THERE walking up to Orem High School in heels a beautiful dress and a handsome guy to escort me. Not only that..but to dance like a goon with best friends and other crazy high school students. honestly..College dances are NOT the same. booty booty booty everywhere. Now I know what you're saying " what did you except?" ok, well sorry.. sometimes ya, I'd rather stay a child for that reason. none of this booty shiz.

It also takes me back to the homecoming football game and the guy I seemed to love had actually won homecoming king. I know..too cool for me. Honestly Honestly, those are the moments I lived for.

 

For my future husband, wherever he may be lookin fab and too attractive.. you better be able to handle how weird I am. watch me dance like an idiot and maybe even jump in and dance like a goose with me.

Honestly, I know you've all been waiting for this moment where you can finally put your hands together and give me that good ol' round of applause. Would it be bad to say that I actually don't even remember why I'm asking  for this round of applause and that I'm too lazy to scroll up and read why?

maybe the fact that it's four oclock int the morning ... or nah.. *falls asleep typing*

the weekend

Frozen, absolutely frozen.. Jaw dropped to the floor .. In absolute shock there I stood watching a complete stranger run off into the unknown streets of Salt Lake City with my iPhone. 

At 3:00 in the afternoon on this beautiful Sunday my friends from the beginning of Jr high came to pick me and my roommate up to go visit the breathe taking salt lake temple. The car ride was filled with laughs, things escalating from 0 to 100 real fast and speakers booming with with lovely tunes of Sam smith. 

Visiting the temple was amazing. Like I said before.. BREATHE TAKING. It was honestly a completely different feeling.. The worldly things didn't matter and there was an overwhelming rush of happiness. Unfortunately time flew by & my roommate and I had to make our way home, back to the red rocks of Saint George. Crossing the street I noticed a guy with red curly hair behind us, not thinking much of it I kept walking in the hot sun to our car. As we came to another cross walk it realized the guy was STILL behind us. Kind of sketchy but honestly didn't think much about it. When we finally arrived to the car the guy stops with us as well and tells us a sob story about how he's not from around here and that he needs to get ahold of his mom& if there was any possible way he could use one of our phones to call her. I look over at my friends and I can see in their eyes.. They aren't letting him use their phones..so I hand over my phone to let a stranger use the phone. He "calls" his mom and as he says his final words "ok goodbye" he runs. Not just run but.. Books it. Faster than ever. Frozen, absolutely frozen.. Jaw dropped to the floor .. In absolute shock there I stood watching a complete stranger run off into the unknown streets of Salt Lake City with my iPhone. UHHH WHAT?! 

Did that actually happen to me?! Yes!! I didn't know what to do.. Cry, scream.. 

Luckily two guys saw the scum bag run off with my phone so they chased him down. Honestly I didn't know what else to do but to communicate with both my fathers. The one In heaven and my dad. I said a prayer with COMPLETE faith asking him for guidance & then it called my dad. Coincidence he was sitting at the computer ? He locked my phone and was able to guide us to where my phone was.

Today I am blessed. Blessed to know I have a father in heaven who hears my prayers and can answer them immediately. Blessed to have a father who answers my calls and has the time to help me when I need. Blessed for friends who care enough about me to chase after a complete stranger not knowing whether or not he has a weapon on him. Blessed that I was able to get my phone back because of my amazing friend that chased him down until he gave back my phone. Blessed for the people who didn't even know me to stop whatever they were doing and help chase after the guy. 

Ya it was just my phone.. Maybe not a big deal to others but honestly I was scared and it was such a crazy experience! I would have never thought that'd happen to me. I love everyone in my life. I'm also so blessed I got to spend my weekend with my roommate and bond with her. She's the sweetest girl and can't wait to make more memories with her and all the people who come into my life this year.

HONESTLY. I'm blessed.

refresh

It's never too late to express your thoughts is it? I honestly never know where to start to be honest. My whole motivation to write tonight was actually me reading hunter koffords blog and thinking.. wow , you literally spoke my mind these past few weeks. 

Now for some you may be thinking.. Ok who is hunter and others may have actually read her post already! She's writes beautifully and I highly suggest you read her blog. I will be quoting her a lot tonight because she says everything so spot on, you can't really beat it.

P.s. Enjoy a few vsco friendly pictures of mine.

For these past summer months I've been in a place of change on so many different levels. Some things harder than others but all together this BIG change.. Which you could say.. I'm an expert at. Not. I actually struggle with this because I love consistency. I like to know what I have ahead of me, what I'm going to be fighting for and everytime I get an unexpected challenge ..bam! ( but don't we all) 'I have learned that things happen when you least expect them, and more often than not, when you don't want them to.' I know God put these challenges in my life and had a purpose to their timing.. I may not know why , but I know that in some way I'm going to grow from these experiences in good time and that they are shaping me for my future. I already know that I have grown so much these past few months.. Learning to be there for others and even myself, knowing that it's ok to be alone.

'I have been able to look deep inside myself and pull strength from crevices i didn't even know existed. i have been able to be the crutch for others, and in return, be my own. nothing about life is easy, . i've learned that it is OKAY to feel. it's okay to allow yourself wiggle room. it's okay to follow your heart, even if it is different from something you've normally done or something someone else feels you should do.' I guess this was the time that God said "it's time to get to know who you are" and to be honest, I've come to love and be comfortable with myself more than I ever have. I love where I am now! 

I couldn't be more grateful for the people in my life who are constantly fighting for me. They are your true friends, they are the type of people I absolutely look up to & strive to be like them daily. Sometimes you also have those people in your life who come and go.. Whether you like it or not. *bleep* happens. (Yes, I'm sure you all know what the bleep is..forgive my language choice haha) something that hunter(blogger) said that I absolutely love is.. 'sometimes, you have to give all you can to someone and love them so fully and expect nothing in return. expectations can damage a soul, give your all to someone so they can know what it feels like to be fought for, and in return, someone will fight for you.'

Things come and go in their own time 'I've learned that as long as you give all you can, things will eventually make their way back to you- in their own time and place, and in their own way. '

All I do know .. Is our father in heaven has a plan for us.. He will boot the people out who are hurting it an bring in those that will make it better. Haha why does that sound so awful. Forgive me.. He has something better in store for us. He knows us and cares SO much for us!! I've also have built a strong relationship with our father and savior. Words can not fully express how much I love the gospel , god , our brother and savior. We are not alone. I KNOW FOR A FACT. I also know.. GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS! I can testify of it. I've also come to learn to love others .. To forget yourself and to serve others. I love it. You're not the only one going through something and honestly you receive pure happiness from serving othes, being there for them when they need you.

'paths are different for everyone, and forks always lead you somewhere. who knows where you'll be lead, but it is a good place. much better than you imagined.' As for me.. My path has just begun.. I'm onto a new journey and it pains me looking back but it also pumps me up , gets me excited for my future & what kind of woman I'll become. God has a plan for me & I know I can trust him with whatever it may be, what challenges will be thrown at me & I know I won't be alone to face them . 

Gee.. Not only do I struggle at starting my ramble of nonsense but I suck at bringing it to a close.

I'm in a good place now. I'm blessed.

And as niki manaj might say it "no I'm not lucky I'm blessed, yes"

I'm in psychology .. Learning about things I already know.. But is it bad to say my psych teacher is a fine ten?? Wait..shh! You didn't see that

Onto some late Dixie news.. My friend got hit by a car!! What?!???? I KNOW!! extremely random! I sat with him most of the day yesterday keeping him company & to be honest.. That's all I want to do right now! His face is beat and soo swollen. Think of swollen & then think of a whole new level of swollen! It's sad to see him in pain.. I wish I could take it away from him. So I'll be keeping updates on my "baby A" (it's his nick name)

Even though he's all banged up he still get up and made me one of his smoothies! Such a sweet soul 

any wayys.. Back to the story.. Our local missionaries came over and at the end we went down to give Andrew a blessing. And can I just say I LOVE MISSIONARIES!! I love everything about the gospel, the feeling.. HAPPINESS! I love it! I can't get over how much I love the gospel. It moves me! 

Shoot, I should probably get back to focussing! Ta ta for now. Xoxo

And. My teachers in elementary use to always tell me to never ever ever start a sentence with and. WELL BOOM. I just did.

Its not any average weekend. Oh NOT at all. I am sitting on my white comfy bed thanks to a new friend (not so friend) Long story short: A guy had a crush on me and bought me a mattress pad so I could sleep at night. Did anything good come out of the relationship? NO. EEK.

I literally came to college wanting no relationship at all and all I've really gotten is JUST THAT.

Onto a better note of the COLLEGE LIFE.. IM A COLLEGE STUDENT! woah. I never thought the day would come. Here I am in college, on my bed blogging because it's a Saturday filled with no classes and no activities because poor college student and everyone is gone for the long holiday weekend. I was sincerely blessed with amazing roommates. My actual roommate is LDS and so we have many things in common! My other roommates also known as suite mates are from California and Hawaii. My closest roommate is one from California.. we have a weird connection. She doesn't like to show her emotions.. secretly though. I say "bye guys , LOVE YOU!" and I get "sure" from her and later she will send me a sweet text saying "love you too!"

BUM HEAD. I have met many many friends. I also have this friend who is vegan and is super picky on what he can eat. It's interesting really..I'm not sure how I could handle that. I LOVE GOODIES.

I love how everyone is so accepting here. Everyone is in the same boat, there is no cliques and it's ok to be COMPLETELY alone.

Last sunday I had the privellege to attend church with my two roomates and another amazing friend..oh and another friend! Three of them are both catholic but still made the choice to come be pals with us at church! AWESOME! Just about an hour ago two VERY attractive missionaries came over to our dorm and shared a message about repentance with my suitemates. LUCKILY they made an appointment for next week to share another message. haha I'm so terrible..wanting missionaries to come over because eye candy. LOL. on another side of it.. I'm also very excited to hear what they have to say. I love hearing from missionaries and hopefully my suitemates can soften their hearts enough to get something out of it and come closer Christ.

IN THE END.. I'VE LOVED LOVED LOVED EVERYTHING ABOUT COLLEGE!

college parties

Know your true friends in college. Don't be in a rush to grow up, and never forget how worthy you are. In life there comes a time where you have to listen to your heart and gut, who cares don't follow the crowd be the leader of your life. - your suitemate (Odalys)

I WANT A MAN.
who will be there hold me when times are hard
who will always make me laugh
who worthily holds the priesthood
who loves god
who has a soft heart
who doesn't give up
who keeps pinky promises (i take those seriously, hehe)
who loves me for who i am. my laugh, the way I see things,
my dorkiness my sassy frass. my features and even my flaws
who teaches me
and last but not least, a man that will never ever even think
about cheating on me.

It's been a month

Hello. My fingers freeze because as you know.. I forgot how to just let loose and type every word my mind comes up with.

It's been a month since corbin and I broke up but we still can't seem to stop talking to eachother. But YES! It's hard .. letting go of someone who was always there for you, someone you knew would answer the phone if you had night mares, late night FaceTime falling asleep to eachothers human noise , laughing at eachothers raw humor or just sitting looking into eachothers eyes not saying a word 

It's been a month since I've..Tried to figure out myself. Who I am? Who I'm going to become. I'm starting school in fall. Not close to home.. *tears rush down face* and it seems to sink in more and more each day. I'm terrified but extremely excited. What are these feelings?! Someone please explain.

It's been a month.. And I've grown to know my God & savior more. They love me! Holy cow I've been so blessed in so many ways this month. When things seem to fall apart and you can't do anything or take control.. There will forever be a solution. Prayer! My heart is full of love. The Lord knows you. He knows your problems. He knows why you're sad& he knows why your upset so he works through his children on earth to help and comfort you. I lied in tears one night crying because I couldn't hold it in any longer , when I received a text from my aunt saying she suddenly had the impression to text me. We talked for the rest of the night. My heart was softened and I was comforted. I knew god worked through her to help me. I'm so blessed.

I've also been beyond stressed about college and the extreme amounts you must pay to go. I was placed on the waiting list for my apartments because we turned in the money too late , when just a couple of days ago I received an email notifying me that someone cancelled their room and if I paid, I'd get the spot! Everything is falling into place because I let God take over. 

He will guide you! I KNOW it with all my heart. 

It's also been a month since I've had my bed to myself. A sweet little miss (my sister) keeps jumping on the side of my bed to have a sleepover. More like she moved in. But she's off to girls camp tomorrow which means bed to myself!! I will definitely miss her company though. She'll have so much fun in the middle of the bahooonies building fires , singing songs and giving all her time to The Lord. 

It's been a month since I've gone to bed at a decent time as well. On that note.. Sweet dream and lots of kisses.

Yours truly . Me Desi

madden girl black size 7 // B&W floral skirt M // tan breezy shall // bamboo white size 6 // Banana Republic light purple shirt

PURPLE// 5$ BLACK // 10$

to purchase text me at 801.400. 9304

 navy size 7

red size 7

crazy that it's all over .. but even though it is.. I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER!

thankful for all the people who came out to support me and my friends who stuck by my side through out high school! I couldn't have done it with out any of these sweet souls! pics from the senior all nighter will be up soon! Once again.. thankful beyond words for these people i love.

...

with you

//

im in love with life?

+ I have the sweetest best friend

+ Senior sluff day tomorrow.. at.. Lagoon

+ IM GRADUATING NEXT WEEK!

+ my birthday is on friday the 23rd 

+ STILL STOKED ON THE THOUGHT OF GRADUATION

on a sad note.

my mom has decided to completely put up walls in our relationship.

my heart breaks everyday because of it. I so long for a close relationship with

her. ugh . My seminary teacher told me the other day "when you cant ..." ope.. very awkward I forgot what he said.. but it was very good!  need a scripture to mark? I gotchu! James 1: 5 If any man lack wisdom, let him ask of god. I love scriptures! I started a scripture challenge for myself a week & a half or so ago and honestly it was the hardest to get myself out of my cozy bed sheets to grab my scriptures on my desk. Then I just imagined a whole bunch of the devils angels yelling into my ear to stay in bed and just let my eyes rest..SO i immediately got up out of bed and read my scriptures! I AM SO GLAD I DID! I've been reading them every night with out even thinking twice. I even grab them before I get into my cozy bed. (STOP laughing this is a cool moment for me k? I'm lovin it.) 

For those of you who haven't read the Book of Mormon I strongly encourage you to read! YES.. It can be a challenge at first, but as you read you can't stop. There is something about it that just grabs you and moves you. I truly LOVE it.

xoxo.  

preparing for new

Had fun with this little stinker yesterday!
Shes going to be graduating elementary the same day I graduate High School!
I swear it was only yesterday I graduated from elementary as well.
Its crazy how time flies right out of your hands! My birthday is in 10 days (YES I'm counting down)why wouldn't I? Andddd I'm pretty excited! Legal n all that. GROWING UP to do..
bleh. count me out. JUST KIDDING ! I'm stoked! Time to start a new chapter in my life! Weee!
let the show begin. I don't even know what that's suppose to mean. but hey.. here we go:)
xoxo

Hola. Im backkkkkkuh!

Prolly forgot about me. Its ok though.

Anywhoo, Desi signed up for college classes yesterday so..I dont know you can call me a big girl or something. Prolly? Or Prolly not? {corbin is so awesome and hot i love him} Corbin wrote that.

For those of you who don't know!.. I have a boyfriend. Pretty cute right? yes, i give you permission to stalk and talk about how adorable we are. He's my best friend and I absolutely love spending time with him laughing and learning more and more about each other! I love the nugg of mine!

xoxo

Desiree Jasmin

February was quite the difficult // best time of the year for me! Lost n gained friends. & have been spending lots of time with my sweet angel at his cemetery alone lately! I actually took a run to get in some sort of shape as well. Let me tell yuh.. that was rough. I'm not in shape at all! More work to be done definitely. Not a lot to say except for my most sincere apologies about not finishing my blog challege! WHOOPS! college classes can be THE worst sometimes! SO ya. kisses to all those who still read my blog. loveeee you. I hope errybody had the best valentines day even if they didnt have someone special to share it with! Just in case any of you wanted to know and for me to brag a lil'.. I had the funnest valentines day! Uhm my dad just walked in and read my blog. AWKO TACO. hehe. kk im leavin now cuz my motivation to write is suddenly gone so im going to enjoy the rest of my lazy sunday:) 

maholo. xoxo

P.S im addicted to pinterest.

like how what why . 

Blog Challenge Day 2

| first love |

I dont really know how to start off with this post. I've talked ones leg off about this Mr. before.

Where we met: We met in our ninth grade english class. I was quite scared to have to sit by him to tell you the truth. A big outgoing polynesian sitting next to shy and bashful Desi. COMPLETE oppisites. He was class clown, i was geeky ready to learn me. One day he invited me to his friends party and i was in shock that mr. popular class clown was asking me to go to this party. I quickly took the invite and ran off. If you're wondering if I attended the party..your answer is no. lol. Around that same time he told everyone in our small clump of tables to go to his football game! soo.. yes, I secretly went to the football game with my friend and mom and bragged about how he was the football captain and how special I felt that he invited me to some party. In the halls at school he would always ask me what movie I was in and I would give him the same answer every time wondering why he couldn't remember! He would walk me to my classes and ask me questions, and even though I barley said one word he would still find a reason to stand by me to talk to me. Then he messaged me on Facebook.. and from there we got each others number.

After that feelings for him started to grow.. but they were on and off. We were very bad at communication. We started liking other people.

That January my sweet brother returned to heaven and in desperate need of comfort, he opened his arms for me. That instant my heart belonged to him. His sister had also passed away and he gave me words of comfort. After that I remember him walking with the girls (yes there is an S on girls) he liked and told myself in my head with such confidence that I would be his girl again and not them. Lucky Ducky me, it happened! On February 14, I was his girl *officially*

As time went on he wrote me a song and played it in the talent show (had to keep it a secret to hug or else his mom would see) I was on cloud 9. He treated me like royalty. On my birthday he gave me a pillow pet, lip gloss and a necklace! THE SWEETEST! those things are very sentimental to me to this day! We spent endless hours together!! As we entered high school, we didnt seperate! We were bestfriends! He still is my bestfriend infact. My love for him grew stronger n stronger

Fun Fact: We didnt kiss till the winter of sophmore year. True love lemme tell you.

After all our fights and breakups we always found a way back to eachother. He's always been a good example and sweet friend in my life. 

I could go on in explaining our relationship to this day but you'd get lost in a crazy love story.

So ill end in short. HES DE COOLEST n I love det silly kid to this day! haha

I guess, you'll know what love is when it happens. You care about them so much! Butterflies. Always butterflies. You care about their happiness. love.

Onto another note, I LOVE MY SEMINARY CLASS.

I have THEE best teacher and classmates!

Positive Vibes always.

xoxo