Count your Blessings

tonight is going to be one of those silly nights where I'll come back to read this post in the morning and be like WHY oh WHY DID YOU POST THIS FOR THE WORLD TO SEE? Yes, I am allowing myself to feel bad for myself tonight.

Anyhoo, tonight is the night where all my feelings and anger towards the people I live with have gone out the roof. 

It's hard coming home to a room filled with so much unknown tension. It's hard to come home and hear your "friends" talk behind your back in the other room. It's hard to do nice things for people and have them be so indescribably rude back and lastly it's hard living far away from my family knowing that in this situation just being in their mere presence would make me happy. I simply can't wait to be back home where I have friends who are constantly building me up and being able to be surrounded by family. Holy patooti I'll be the happiest girl on this planet.

I'm being a baby. No doubt about it. I would say I'm totally fine with tears running down my face and that there are tissues all about my floor but..I'm a poor college student and tissues can be sacrificed on the shopping list..so no I don't have any tissues on my floor because they do not exist, although the salty clear tears do.

Let me just say..find friends who RESPECT you. In all aspects.

Jesus works in mysterious ways. Never fails. Right as I'm feeling down and bad for myself I get a friendly reminder that I'm not the only one out there struggling with friend problems or any problem to be honest. I'm blessed beyond measure to know I have family and friends who DO love me. People may hurt me and push me down but I know I'll always be loved by friends and family. I'm thankful to know what prayer is and that I can use it WHENEVER. I know that I am heard and loved unconditionally by Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ and it warms my heart to even think of it. Basically..when you're feeling down.. Look at all the things that have benefited you for good.

When upon life's billows you are tempest-tossed,

1. When you are discouraged, thinking all is lost,Count your many blessings; name them one by one,And it will surprise you what the Lord has done.So amid the conflict, whether great or small, Do not be discouraged; God is over all. Count your many blessings; angels will attend, Help and comfort give you to your journey's end.
   
   
   Yes, I just googled the lyrics for this helpful hymn. Thankful for copy and paste. Oh boy hahaha. 
   
   
   Count your blessings.
   Xx

To be honest I've been sitting on my bed with the laptop screen shining in my face trying to think of some clever way to start my post. crossing my fingers hoping one day it'll come to me like nothing, but for now you're stuck with me explaining how difficult it is.

this weekend here in st. George has been nothing but cold weather ( 64 degrees and yes i'm complaining. please explain to me how I convinced myself to move back home in the dead of winter )
football season is over leaving us with nothing to do..unless you have money. HA, sorry bout it but i'm a broke college student so ya I've been sitting at home on my cozy bed staring at the ceiling for hours thinking of what a poor college student(I) should do that doesn't cost much money. hmm. guys it's harder than it seems.

today has consisted of chips, cereal and playing taylor swifts new song blank space over and over and over. butttttt hold your horses kids the good part is finally coming through despite all the horribly boring things I've done today/this weekend. I've always taken for granted how truly blessed we are to see the things we see, hear the things we hear and feel the things we feel. How beautiful it all is. What the, where did that come from? well guys, I went and saw the giver. Holy, round of applause on round of applause. In some sort of way I got thrown back into time, where we all sat at a great council. choosing what plan we'd take. One plan (Christ's plan) so beautiful that it gave us agency..but with it came difficulties or one (Lucifer's plan) where we'd be forced to follow certain ways(no agency) in order to be perfect to return to our heavenly father. In the movie the black and white world to me was Lucifer's plan..and when the young boy saw color and remembered his feelings such as love pain and sorrow.. that was Christ's plan. It was so beautiful. I don't know but honestly It gave me the chills when he felt things again. The beauty of giving birth, animals, color, a simple kiss. It assured me that this plan that we have chosen is the right one. It was beautiful. highly recommend you to see it. ONE MORE MONTH AND I AM HOME ! here we go, let's make it count.

xoxo

help a sister out

Help a sista out! I am trying to sale my dorm room so I can move back home! 

Some people have contacted me about it but they seem very fishy..tehe

If you know of any good places where i can put up an add or know someone who wants to move in I would lovee to know. 

It's on campus and I can already tell you you'll have great roomates! It is $795 / Semester and you can make monthly payments! For more info visit this website.. http://dixie.edu/housing/nisson.php 

Contact me at : 801-400-9304 or email at desir0596@gmail.com

xoxo

sunday feliz

 

I feel like every time I express my love about the savior and everything he has done for me it is the same thing. but I promise you it is different every time and the feelings only get more and more stronger, exciting and happy ..more more more! I absolutely love it.

 

I made a decision over the summer..one I was sure of. I knew I wanted it..I wanted it more than anything! I cried out unto the lord praying for help and guidance as I went forward with the decision I had just made. I let the people closest to me know of my choice and the reasoning behind it. It was scary in a sort of happy way. I did my best everyday not knowing that slowly but surely another choice (path) would be presented to me in short time. choices, oh boy oh boy..there is opposition in all things as we know, even in the choices we make. They can either be good or bad.

this new choice was presented to me so beautifully (if that even makes any sense..)IN THAT MOMENT. I had a whole new eye, a blind one. My whole goal I was pushing for all summer was gone in two seconds. I lost it. I didn't realize until just today that satan had been working on me all summer and I was pulled in so carefully and strategically didn't even notice.

 

I've been a little lost lately. It happens to all of us. wondering what in the poo we are going to do with our lives, if we are walking the right path, doing the right things etc etc. Sometimes when we get lost we distance ourselves from the things we love most, at least I know I do. Praying, reading my scriptures, doing small acts of kindness every day went from a typical everyday thing to do to something that I just couldn't do. I could open my scriptures but my mind would wander off and get distracted. Not until a couple weeks ago, I headed up north (aka home) for a weekend and spent time with a close friend who reminded me in their own genuine way who I was and am. Two friends gave me a blessing. Simple but very powerful. I felt a power so strongly in my heart I knew, I knew with my whole heart that beats now..that I was loved. I was loved more than I could ever comprehend. I knew I could still follow him even if I had messed up. I knew I was still welcome with welcome arms. Every time I fall I get up stronger.

 

I am here today telling you that I've never been so close to god than now. My heart and soul is so sure of it. I am so moved by his teachings that there is no possible way this church isn't true..because IT IS SO TRUE. It's the surest thing I know. I've never felt so happy about something.

xoxo

 

happy sunday

home

holy guacamole am I excited to move back home. WAIT WHAT? yes, the news is out to those of you who don't know..i am coming home. well, tonight was spent attempting to empty my closet filled with dirty and clean clothes(yes, dirty and clean because sometimes I get lazy and just..ya i'm sure you can relate) because this weekend, my roommate decided to head north back home which leaves the room to myself! OH DO I LIVE FOR THESE DAYS. you honestly don't know how amazing it is to have a room to yourself until you live with someone else. Let's just say all my clothes are clean and put away as if cinderellas mice and birds came to clean up after me. SUPA CLEAN. either you got that or you didn't..i tried k? just laugh.

honestly, tonight I wanted it to be me myself and I. BUT that sure didn't happen. I got a few knocks at my door and felt like the biggest brat on the planet because I sort of just kicked them out. whoops. #sorrynotsorry. unfortunately, I couldn't keep up being the brat I was and let a friend in. not a bad idea. I GUESSSS..the word is out that i'm not "worth it" because smoking weed, drinking and having sex isn't my scene. To be completely honest, at first I was kind of hurt but then I realized holy .. that's the best compliment. I AM WORTH IT BECAUSE OF THAT. shut up dumb Dixie boys. guys, please just hear me out and let me vent for like three seconds (k maybe more but..still) ALL ANYONE WANTS TO DO HERE IS DRINK DRUGS AND HAVE SEX! AND YES THIS ALL HAS TO BE IN CAPS SO YOU KNOW HOW REAL I AM BEING. ok, venting sesh is over. *takes a few deep breaths* breathe des breathe. "nobody can make you feel inferior unless you let them" -Eleanor Roosevelt

wait. hold up puhhhleeease! back to the topic about me moving home..Jesus please (kinda, sort of, not begging) let me pack up all my best friends I have met here in my suitcase and let them live with me 5ever. seriously though. why do the cons have to over weigh the pros on this decision of me moving. holy patootie. *sheds a tear or two* why does life do this to us? perty please explain.
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guys, my best friend turned in his mission papers yesterday!  AH this is legit happening. please help me. feeling so happy for him right now it is so unreal. THE CHURCH IS SO TRUE. I've seen the lords hand bless me in so many ways this past week. #blessed. yeah, I've thrown out two hashtags in this post and I don't even mind. the haters can't seeeeee. (woah, i'm getting a little too dorky) *takes a second to giggle because of how excited I am to have the room to myself* tehe. so when my friend came over to visit today we had this huge long heart to heart about relationships. oh boy 0-100 real quick. I loved what he said though..let me attempt to repeat what he said..shoot i'm gunna  butcher it. basically he told me when you are in a relationship with someone take the time to step back with them and say are they helping me become a better person? where is this going and where will this lead me? I really took deep thought into that and looked around at my friends thinking in my head those questions bud said. which ones were really actually helping me and which friends am I helping or should be helping? kind of really got deep for a sec.

anyhoo. I'll end this post with something true, genuine and something that will warm your heart either now or later in the future. Yes, it is a scripture because what else would it be? Isaiah 49:15-16 || I will not forget you. I have written you on the palms of my hands.

xoxo

Me