360

I never know how to start these things off. Do I start it out with an amazing blow your mind inspirational quote? A question that will boggle your mind and leave you finding the answer for weeks upon weeks? A joke that will leave you peeing your new chair because you laughed so hard?
Or do I just simply start out with my story.

I guess you could say I've found a stress reliever. Watching My Strange Addiction
Literally Laughing my head off. I'm weird..but I'm glad to know I'm not the oddest ball out there.

Well right here and right now I'm about to vent..because this is my online journal.
So at this point if you don't like to hear anything complainy.. I suggest you click that red little box on the corner of your screen.

I'm at the point in my life where.. i'm just lost. Lost lost lost.
The person I've always longed for to lift me up, be there to hug me, listen, and to be told I love you from is constantly putting me down.
How do I live with someone that calls me a slut..
How do I live with someone who makes me feel worthless
now im not saying shes never said I love you..because she has. she cares about me.. deep down.. I know it. I just wish she'd show it.
Now im not typing this to change anything. Its just my journal.
I'm just lost in thought. Confused. Frustrated.

I like a guy.
Amazing. That's what id call him.
I don't know why this guy walked into my life but he did.
He's obviously here for a reason. For good or for better.
I'm bittersweet happy around him.
But i'm stuck with a mom who doesn't seem to want ANY guy in my life.
as if its illegal. come on!! Im 17..
I dont know everything. Dont know a lot of things.. but you got to let me try to learn things on my own..
Give me advise, ill take it.. but dont stop me.
I DONT want to play any romeo and juliet games. Like seriously im far far far from wanting to do that.
but how do I stay away from someone whose impacted my life.

this is where it gets weird if any of my lovely family is reading this. Just close your eyes:)
jk. enjoy this teenage moment with me

His hands adhered my face
Holding it like it was the most valuable thing he'd ever held.
His fingers ran down through my hair and stayed where the crevasse of my neck and head connect
Butterflies.
He looked into my boring brown eyes as if they were filled with numerous amount of color.
He looked as if he had so much to say but couldn't
Perfect.
There was no kiss to be met. 
Except for the magic of silence and thought 
Happy
Right

A moment i've never experienced more perfect 

Alright. enough with being corny. haha but honestly. what a story.

I'm so glad to have my little sister in my life.
I got home in such a sad mood. Only waiting to the minute i walked into my house to ball my eyes out
But she came instantly to the door and gave me the warmest hug.
I always enjoy coming to my dads vecause of the love that is shared.
Once I walk through that door i know ill be greeted with warm hugs and " I missed you!"
She was there to wipe away the tear inside of me.
Love that lil bug.

Ohana.
Stay strong and carry on
Love to all.
xoxo
Desi