I haven't done this in quite the while, So bare with me and my late night thoughts tonight..or morning to be literally correct.

It's 3:13 am on a lovely Friday morn and I'm inside the coolest fort (made by my sister and I ) watching Netflix and holding my breathe while holding in my pee... Yes, I just said I'm holding in my pee. Hashtag # first world probs. I've treated myself with watching Netflix all night! I haven't watched Netflix in forever and I'm definitely glad to watchin my shows again.

Christmas! Christmas! I missed my post on Christmas! & whole bunches of things which means this post might just end up being a novel. Like I said, bare with meh!

First.. My year has been made because, yes, some felluh asked me on a date to see the temple square holiday lights!! Not only once, but I got to go two times!! I'm quite the lucky gal! 

First date//

Second round//

The Christmas season is my absolute favorite because you get to sit back hang out with family, eat tons of food without getting looked at like they can see your future in a big lump of fatness, listen and sing to the happiest most jolliest songs ever created, cuddle, drink hot cocoa, take rad pictures of blurry lights to post on every social media you might possibly have and last but not least sit on the lap of the one and only Santa freakin dinkin' clause!

Something inside of my head is banging hard on my head tellin me "yuhh.. Desi? I thinks it's uh time you get yourself some rest"  but no..I must fight this fight and type the type!

I'll sum up my long long story to a tiny story. Here it goes:

I have amazing friends!! Yes there was a "s" on the end of friends! I love my family! My "like" life is great!! Because the guy I like is THE best. Wayho. And The Lord is always by my side!! Which ends my story well. Sweet dreams peeps.

HB to my pappa frito.

Xoxo 

me.

It's been a long day

And all I've got to say is make it strong

It's been a long day

And all I've got to say is I've been wrong

So take a leave of absence

Tell me you'll be gone

I don't want to see your face

It's been a long day

And I just wanna hide away

It's been a long week

And all the lines come down heavy on me

Its been a long week

I'm finally feeling like its okay to break

Into a thousand pieces

No one can replace

Only I can find my way

It's been a long day

And I just wanna hide away

Its been a long year

And everyone around me's disappeared

It's been a long year

And all this mess around me is finally clear

So can I have a moment

Just to say hello?

Can you let your anger go?

It's been a long year

And I'm finally ready to be here

To those in my life, I love you

If I could describe my week in one word it would be  y o l o

I couldn't have asked for better friends than the ones I have now. Friends that constantly wipe my tears&friends that I can absolutley be crazy with. 

Tuesday I had a dance concert & my guy(lol what do you call someone when you have feelings for eachother..but you're not bf/gf? Like you should be but you're not...) my mom,papa,my amazing friends and grandma showed up to support me dance. Such a small simple thing for them to show up but it meant a ton! Especially when "my boy" said "I came just for you" 

It's the little things. They all add up

Thursday was our last home game (until playoffs that is) ODC performed at the half time .. #confession I thought I danced terrible so I legit cried In my bestfriends arms for about 10 seconds because that could've been my last time to perform ever on that beautiful OHS football feild. Lucky enough (thanks to The Lord) WE WON!! Yes, I loveee watching our tigers play and successfully win! Unfortunately keian got hurt and couldn't play.. But lucky for me I got a good picture with him !

Since he couldnt really do anything but chillax I got to spend my Friday night cuddling up to him watching a scary movie with his homies!

Then finally this fantastic weekend came to a close dressing my mom up for a pirate party and me heading out to have a blast with my friends.. I can't even say the things we did.. They were just too fun. An experience you had to be there to even understand!

I've been extremely blessed. 

I love every single person that's ever walked into my life, for they have changed me for the better! 

Make this week count! Love The Lord and count your blessings!

Xoxo 

Blessed

The Lord never ceases to fail me, Even in my darkest most lost moments. 

Last night I lyed in bed with only one thing on my mind. I couldn't sleep

I went to sacrament and this sweet old lady arose to the stand to give her talk. 

My mind was still glued to my problem. All my intestines twisted and turned until I felt completely most utterly empty. My heart was thumping uncontrollably. Tears wanted to rush out my eyes but I had to stay strong. 

I said a small prayer in my heart begging..begging for his help. 

Then my attention focused to the sacrament speaker. Her strong but simple words touched my spirit. The words she spoke kept pearcing my soul and softening my heart. "He left what he loved , for something he loved even more(the savior)" 

The answer to my prayer. 

I literally had to close my eyes and try to hold back all the grateful tears that wanted to pour out. At my lowest point, when I thought all was lost.. The Lord was there for me . To tell me everything was ok. I'm here for you.

Writing this now , I'm still bawling. 

I'm so blessed to know the gospel. To know that I can ask for help with an open heart and hear what I need to hear. I'm so blessed. I can't even explain my love for the savior . I have a strong testimony on prayer and the unconditional love the savior has for each and every one of us.

Xoxo.

P.s. I had the best Sadie's date. Hott. Muscles. And funny. 

I love you all.

Prompt

When your best friend is dreaming endlessly and going through her own problems as it is the only person besides God that you can talk to around this time of night is.. Yourself. 

My fingers seems to freeze because what I want to write..AH lets just face the fact that I sound complainy when I write about this certain subject.

Listening to my one and only bon over doesn't seen to help the fact any either because his music puts me into bottomless thought and I want to cry for no reason at all. Maybe because his music is so enticing. Overall lesson : overthinking kills you.

Sometimes the Holy Ghost prompts you do something. Listen.

Because I was just promoted to watch a Mormon message and my loneliness left.

"If we have faith in Jesus Christ the hardest as well as easiest of times in life can be a blessing. In all conditions we can choose the right with guidance of the spirit. We have the gospel of Jesus Christ to shape and guide our lives if we choose it. We never need feel that we are alone or unloved In the lords service. We can feel the love of God. The savior had promised angels on our left and on our right to bear us up and he always keeps his word"- Elder Henry B. Eyring 

This simple but true loving statement shaped my night very differently. 

I am filled with the lords love. I know he knows what I'm feeling. I know he cares. I know. I'm blessed. 

He wiped away my sweet salty tears that rolled down my face tonight. 

It's nice to fall asleep happy. Loved and watched over. Did I already say. I'm blessed.

Here is my very sweet angel.

Be happy sweet souls .

Yours truly.

Desiree

| i dig black and white |

5 things to enjoy any weekend:

+ Ice Cream (unless you live in Utah and are trying to pull through the numbing weather..now, would probably not be a great time)

+ Hot Chocolate (only because I do live in Utah and am living through extreme polar weather. . yes I did exaggerate a little. . but I swear that is how I feel once I step outside) 

+ A great movie

+ sleeping in past 4:45 A.M .Lets make that 8AM

+ Best Friends

+ A boyfriend. Cuddles. Kisses. sadly enough.. I dont have one..SO. just boys in general

+ {one of my favorites} COD.zommmbies! 

+ Music

+ EXTRA SLEEP.

+ pinterest.

So. My weekend was amusing. Spent time with my girl Connie to go visit a sweet soul to wish her a very happy birthday.and guess to the what?.. Shes Cals sister. It was a bit weird to spend time in that house again but there is always good vibes there. After,we hung out with probably some of the hottest guys. Mike Kee. Zac and Sasha..along with the silly billy. SO i guess Mikes basement is haunted?.. haha Its always fun to get the adrenalin rush. Never a dull time with them. Before we went home we took a sweet drive down to provo and listened to our one and only bon iver and just cried because that's what girls do. Cried because.. We are growing up and we cant stop time to be little kids. Cried because bon ivers music just makes us want to cry Cried because we are single ( literal LOL) but you know what? who cares.

we have eachother. And i couldn't be more blessed to have such a great friend.

xx- Desi

                         

It's time

Whenever I plug my headphones into my phone at school I get the creepiest feelin crawl up in my stomach that once I press play, the music will blast as loud as it can making everyone turn their heads just to see what the noise was.

I'm in study hall. Of course the day I want to read, I leave my book at home.. So now I'm here anxiously waiting for my next class.. Because in my next class.. I have a math test!! Dun dun dun. Biting my nails, sweating up a storm!.. Wait no I'm not sweating up a storm because it's colder than Antarctica here at the home of the tigers.

It's kind of strange to pull out your headphones.. It's like you're in a whole nother world. Silence...music..silence..music. 

| yes I took skeleton selfies |

On to another note.. I'm going to Sadie's!( he's attractive...)  

I'm pretty exited!! I love this time of the year! The warm colors that scatter themselves along the mountain walls, the grey skies that make everything pop in extreme color and last but not least.. Cuddling, hot chocolate and scary movies because it's the season of scaringggg! Rawr. < that rawr could've scared you if you actually said it scary out loud and you're alone in an empty house.. Or you either laughed histaricaly at yourself because you can't make a scary rawr.  Or..... You're a bum head and you're still staring at the screen with a straight face. 

Sadie's will be a party. Yes it will. 

I cross my fingers and pray about a million times tht this dj will be the ishhhh! 

Because homecomings dj sucked! He repeated the songs!! Big no no. BIG! 

.. I miss writing.. 

On my blog. ( not in school. Haha )

I like being creative and open . In school it's a closed form and everything is so straight forward and get to the point seriousness. 

Anyway. What are you still doin reading this? Go buy something scary... Or do something scary.. Or go see insidious 2.

And .. If you do go. Take me:) 

Ok ok.

Ta ta for now. Xoxo

Mahalo | peace

 Whos ready for jackets and stuff?

as cute as they are.. im not ready for them.

Senior status//

ODC

senior picture.

I'm still amazed on how fast time flies.

I cant really take it all in.

Right as my dance teacher called out " OK! seniors! come take your pictures!" I kinda freaked.

I mean..I've been hearing it for a while now but today it just hit me.

Its kinda sad i haven't written to much on my blog for a while now. My mind seems to be in its own little world taking so much in this senior year.

I'm taking a college writing class and its slowly taking away my love for writing.

#bummer

Writing long essays every other day aren't the funnest thing.

then my desire to write on my online journal just poops out.

I still love writing on my blog dont get me wrong!

I'll be back on my grind soon!! stay with me:) xoxo

Homecoming

//HOMECOMING//

 

I honestly couldn't have asked for a better date than the one and only Ted!!

He was the most hilarious guy ive ever met and he made me feel special!

The sweetest guy!

 

 

No point in going to homecoming unless you have a bathroom

picture with the girls right??

 

This is my main guy! Love him to pieces! We won our homecoming game and he won

homecoming KING! So proud of him! So blessed to have such a stud in my life. Lets hope he doesn't get too cocky now..;)

I love my Savior.

Philippians 4:13 

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me

Lds.org

Life right now, as we speak is better than ever! I've made new friends, reunited with old ones and living on the edge with every single one of them! 

The other night my friend and I went to a concert with our new krew! The concert SUCKED to me. The vibes weren't quite right .. Maybe because every hipster there carried some sort of drug or alcoholic beverages. Luckily, the guys we were with thought it wasn't good either ! Thank goodness!! 

I defiantly like spending time with these guys because they are the type who love you no matter what!! They let you be you! We also went to the black light dance and danced our little tail feathers off!! Crazy 2 weeks!! 

Next, ODC..ODC...ODC!! Now hold up let me help you , because right now for those who don't know what ODC is, are prolly panicking right now. Take deep breathes.. K .. Ill tell you.

ODC= Orem dance company!

We have performed in the assembly and today we performed in our football half time show! Such a neat experience!! Legit love my company!! 

Oh and this is my bootiful dance teacher and her lovely selfies!! Lol!! //

Next next next next next! I got asked to homecoming!! And I'm secretly extremely exited!! Freaking out because you have no idea how much I love to dance at school dances! My excitement has broke the scale.. Oh hey, did I mention I was exited by chance??

I just REALLY want to cuddle up to my boy right now!! Missin that fool like creezy!! Does anyone by chance happen to have a transportation machine? Or something along the lines of that?

ODC prayer//

The boys // {- Derek }

So many pictures.. It's cray. 

Loving life. Xoxo 

~desi

It's a draft I'm tellin yuh

 Yeeee-o!, only because I find that a great way to start any sort of conversation. Whether I'm speaking to my family, hanging out with friends or even writing it on my blog. It's catchy right? Well I'm here to tell you about myself.. Because who knows me better than myself? Family, photography and blogging are three essentials in my everyday life. 

When I look into the mirror everyday, I see big brown eyes that I got from my dad, long brown hair from my mom and a fit healthy body, from both my parents. Well everyone, I was the "whoops" baby. The one and only child between my parents. Unfortunately young parents with those "whoops" babies don't tend to stick together and get a divorce. Yes, you guessed correctly my patents did get a divorce and remarried which leaves me with seven crazy brothers and one beautiful sister! Who knows what I'd do with out her. Maybe be stuck in a crazy zoo because i would've gone mad.. Or even would've become a Tom boy. Ew. I guess we'll never know right? 

There's also another sibling who has a very soft spot in my sweet heart. His names Joaquin. Born with cleft palate and recombinant 8 syndrome, resulting in many trips to primary children's and lots of help, love and effort from every family member to make Joaquin feel happy at home. Doctors said we'd loose him at 3 but Joaquin proved them wrong and we were blessed to have him in our lives for six amazing years! Maybe that's what's so special about my family.. We work together to make great things possible and we have the sweetest angel to watch over and protect us in our journey here on this earth.

Sometimes I get the question "what sets you apart from everyone else?" Or "what makes you unique" and to tell you the truth I sit in my chair and have to really nug n budge at my head for something to pop. And the one thing that usually pops into my head first is photography. I have a deep love and passion for photography. Lemme tell you, I'm a people watcher! And when I can capture everyone in their natural state, being who thy truely are.. Having the time of their lives,.. Psh ya! That makes me happy! Creating a small fraction of that moment for them to keep forever to never forget! Memories! They are my favorite. 

Blogging. Hmm. Blogging. Why is blogging such a part of my life? Well you see I learn, I grow and experience new things and i love to share my stories to random fellow strangers who happen to appear on my site! For them to relate to, for them to think "psh well she was dumb to fall for that boy" or even if I can make them laugh. Learn from my mistakes. Laugh at my mistakes. Grow from my mistakes. I also just love venting to my blog. I'm crazy for even saying this but my blog is my friend. I can just be me and say stupid stuff and well.. Not be judged. It's just me, yuh know? I love writing. And I guess that's why I'm taking this class called college writing. To help me learn grow and experience this college course. Can't wait to start! And i hope I can become a better writer.. To make my stories a bit more interesting so you don't fall asleep half way through. Which I'm sure you have..

Goodmorning to you when you wake up!

I'm exiting for my senior year! 

Lets do dis!

Xx ~  miss desirooo

Love you all

Kisses and hugs!

Growin'

It only seems as if yesterday I awoke for the first day of fourth grade. The grade I moved to a different elementary. When Sam weurgler & Ian Webb gave me the name people call me"desi". When Kathryn gramm and I had bestfriend bracelets. And now on Tuesday morning ill be stepping into OHS in my new chucks for my last year of high school. Senior year

And to think next year ill be somewhere getting my little dorm ready ..ready to start a new beginning with me myself and I in college. 

How did time fly so quickly. I seriously can't grasp this. I'm out of words to even describe this love/hate feeling I have for being a senior.

K ask me if I feel like a senior.. K go ask... My answer? NO .. I feel like a lil baby still.. One that should be sitting down waiting for the next episode of Hannah Montana or somethin. 

Like some days you might say something stupid, and that’s the part of you that’s still ten. Or maybe some days you might need to sit on your mama’s lap because you’re scared, and that’s the part of you that’s five. And maybe one day when you’re all grown up maybe you will need to cry like if you’re three, and that’s okay. That’s what I tell Mama when she’s sad and needs to cry. Maybe she’s feeling three.

Because the way you grow old is kind of like an onion or like the rings inside a tree trunk or like my little wooden dolls that fit one inside the other, each year inside the next one.  —  Woman Hollering Creek, Sandra Cisneros

Time to grow up.

Yay.

Xoxo

Miss Desi 

Because of you.

Streams of mascara and red swollen eyes are not a good combination on this girl right here..And my cozy blankets, stuffed animals and pillows are definatly not meeting satisfactory needs of any cuddling craves I'm having right now. If that makes any sense

I couldn't.. Could not keep in the salty tears from rolling down..gosh, more like pouring down my cheeck tonight. I mean, who doesn't after reading hunter koffords post on sweet coop. Watching her video over and over and over and over and over again.  I couldn't help but to think of my sweet angel. Joaquin. 

Loosing a member of a family is not easy.  You never .. {here comes the tears} never .. Know when your loved one will move onto the next life. But I couldn't be more blessed than to have him in my life for 6 years! And to know where he is now, he's completly happy. He's with Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ who I'm sure are giving him the biggest hugs and loves! And to know that makes me happy.

Thanks hunter kofford. That video .. Hit home. Missing my sweet sweet angel. 

Many blessing. Many prayers . Much love

Xx Desi

Xx

Guys I legit had a daddy daughter date tonight! Me ,my sister and my papa {excuse my for the impropper grammer} got into our car of ours and busted to the one and only stomach filling Texas Roadhouse, zoomed zoomed out of there and headed to the cinema to see Now you see me! {freaking recommend} 

If you have no idea what the funky monkey I just said. Stop now. Don't read any further and go buy tickets to see that movie. And psh.. If you're sitting in the Corner crying because you have no one to go with.. Take me! Because.. Duh! Ill see it again. Seriously though.

Next, happy late birthday shout out to one of my bestfriends! I might not be one of his bestfriends. But he sure as heck is one of mine! Guys.. This dood let me cry my mascara river and wipe my knarly boogies into his shirt whenever I had a hard time.wait. He still does. Love him!! 

You guys wanna know how old he is.. He's 1234578961335 years young! Hehe 

The Lord watches over you. He loves you! LOVES you. Love love loves you!!

I had a lil break down the other night. Missing my little Broski more than anything.. I started to cry because I was feeling so alone. I wanted to burry my beautiful not so beautiful teary eyed hopeless face into my soft and comfortable pillow. My pillow that has been through it all with me ..when all of the sudden I get a message from someone special.. Just saying they were thinking of me. Tender mercy. We talked and talked and eventually I felt so happy. 

I knew that it wasn't just a coincidence that they texted me but it was a sweet tender mercy . I'm so blessed. 

New song on the playlist. 

I know you want to hear it.

// good morning love - cubworld //

Smile:) love life & Look closely, because the closer you think you are, the less you will actually see..

Xx- desireeeeeeeee

Sweet kisses. And warm hugs.

You are my sunshine.

P.s. holy nuggets. New celebrity crush! Dave Franco