When your little brother went from sleeping in your room because he was scared.. To having him say " I wish you were never in my family!!"
When laughing with your mom turned where you can't even look in her eyes.
All I can turn to now. Who I've always. Leaned on is my Heavenly Father and Jesus. The only family members who seem like they care. I know my family members probably care but it doesn't show. I need to keep my chin up. Find a way to ignore all the hard things and find the good throughout my day. But avoiding the words hurt.today my day was very rough. Walking into seminary crying. Of course my face reacts with a simple tear. I get those big old hunk a dora red dots around my eyes. As I go into seminary they are watching a video about the little children who are sick in the hospitals. And they play "you raise me up" by josh groban. My eyes were filled with many layers of fresh tears. All piling up ontop of eachother because I did not want to let them out and cry. The video reminded me of my sweet little Joaquin. In my next class. My ex crush(why did I like him?) had to push my buttons. Out of all of the days he picked today. My heart was racing and I wanted to run out of the room screaming. Luckily my day got better as I saw my best friend keian was there to wrap his arm around me..not knowing I was having the worst day ever and say "hey I was looking at you in science and you are So pretty" I'm so grateful for that little tender mercie.
I don't know who to talk to in person anymore. Except for my blog journal and my Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ. I'm so so so so thankful. Words can't even explain how thankful I am to have them. Heavenly Father and Christ want to see a smile on my face everyday. They want me to do better. They want things to work out. I can feel their love when I pray. When I walk in school. When I attend seminary. And I especially feel their love when my heart is on the edge of slipping apart.im grateful I was born into this gospel.
