At the end of long days when my time at Gigi and Papas house was up and it was time for me to head home Gigi and papa would always stand out on their porch wave and wave and wave and wave goodbye until they were out of sight.
They were real best friends. They did everything together. Relationship goals right there!
I'll never forget it.
The last week of my Gigi's life my aunt would ask her everyday if she had seen or felt papa (who had died 12 years ago) every response was an unfortunate "no." Sadly she had started to believe that there was no after life because if there was..she would've felt papas presence. The night prior of her passing my aunt once again repeated her question. "Have you seen papa? Unable to speak and barely move she slowly shook her head yes. My aunt then asked if he was there. Again, she slowly shook her head yes. What a beautiful thing to know that he was there for her and welcome her with open arms. They are together again. Once again..RELATIONSHIP GOALS! Am I right? Haha
Today was my grandma Gigi's funeral.i honestly told myself that I wasn't going to cry..was I wrong? Yes! I was so wrong. I cried like baby!! in a happy way of course. My beautiful grandma lived a tough life..one I didn't really know of until today. Now hearing of her stories I truly know I am such a whimmp! (She got hit by lightning twice and almost got hit by it another two times..crazyyyyy)
At the funeral all of us grandchildren/great granchildren stood up to sing I am a child of God. My heart melted within the first two words. The words peirced my soul & I knew with ALL my heart that this primary song I learned as a young girl was the most real and perfect song. "I am a child of God & he has sent me here. Has given me an earthly home with parents kind and dear. LEAD ME..GUIDE ME..WALK beside ME..TEACH ME all that I must do." It's almost as if I was singing a prayer.& in that moment I could feel comfort and warmth fill all throughout my body and I could hear a still small voice letting me know that he would lead me,guide me and walk beside me and that he already has.
One of my grandmas favorite songs was abide with me tis even tide. I have fallen 100 million percent in love with that song. Once again a song that reminded me of a prayer . "Oh savior stay this night with me" doesn't that line alone bring you to tears? A moment when you are so alone and you feel comfort less that you humble yourself and say "oh savior stay this night with me" it brings me SO much comfort to just say that because I know he will.
Being at my Gigi's funeral reminded me of four years ago around this same time attending my sweet brothers funeral. I miss him SO much and say it way too often. My heart was heavy in my chest all day yesterday. It's hard knowing that he's not here with you but it's a good feeling to know he's surrounded with heavenly things and that he is happy.
Feeling empty inside I layed on my bed crying because sometimes that's all you can really do. "Trumpeted from the summit of Calvary is the truth that we will never be left alone nor unaided even if sometimes we feel that we are. Truly the redeemer of us all said I will not leave you comfort less. My father and I will come to you and abide with you" -Elder Holland
what comfort that message left me.
The Devine compassion is never absent that God is always faithful that he never flees not fails us. I so blessed. It's never easy. It's not easy even knowing that we have a brother that has gone through what we have but it does make the burden a million times easier. I know it to be true.
This time here on earth is temporary & we will be able to see our families who have passed on again. I feel it in my heart and know it is true and I can not wait for the day I get to hold my little brother in my arms again.
Xoxo. You are not alone