May 26, 2015

WHERE do i even begin. This past week has been an emotional one. (that time of the month if you know what i'm sayin aye?) I would seriously cry over anything! It was awful. Anytime i passed a place that had a memory attached to it with somebody (mainly keian) I would cry and cry. like uh okkkkk i thought i was past the stage of crying like a baby for him. Having my wisdom teeth out last weekend made me a very negative person and if you know me, im all about being positive. Toward the end of the week I decided to actually open up my scriptures again and actually STUDY them instead of using the "wisdom teeth" lazy excuse and listen to them on my iphone. LET ME TELL YOU...I WAS BACK TO NORMAL (better than normal actually) from studying my scriptures. I LOVE IT!! 

I got to go to vegas last week for my birthday!! I got to see BRUMBY (heart eye emoji) and ran into keians friend on the missions girlfriend!! Her name is Marley and she is the sweetest most cutest girl!!

I am so thankful for all the birthday wishes i received that day.

Can you believe our little Joaquin would be 11?!? I can't! Happy birthday in heaven. I wish you were here today even for just a little while so I could say happy birthday brother & see your beautiful smile. The only gifts today will be the gifts you left behind; joy and happiness..precious memories..the best kind. Today I'll do my very best to try and find a happy place..struggling to hide my heavy heart and tears on my face. I'll sit quietly looking at your picture with love; knowing you're doing ok in heaven above.~ I love you Joaquin. Thank you for always being here for me even though you're not here physically.

I got to email Keian by the pool side on monday. Seriously love that boy. *laughs because i say it way too much* HE BROKE HIS FOOT!!! what the. haha but i guess he says he's "ok" though. 

few of my favorite lines from him from this week//

+ A normal day here is 6.30 wake up, breakfast, shower, 4 hours of studying, lunch at 12, appointments until 9, plan for next day til 9.30, and sleep at 10.30    usually at 10 to 10.30 I just cry about missing my girl haha poor me. 

+ The icebreakers make me want to kiss you so quit it lol jk keep doing it.

+We got a baptism!

+ I am so in love with you!

+ Wise words from my good friend Elder Ngatai serving in CHILE 

The power behind you is stronger than the temptation in front of you

SERIOUSLY LOVE THIS BOY!! 

XOXO. 

What I have learned so far is that EVERY big accomplishment is brought to pass through little things. A lot of little things, make big things. Every painting starts with one stroke. Every building starts with one brick, and If you look closely the entire building is made of little bircks. Every big thing is made up of little things. Every testimony is built up through little expieriences, little feelings or thoughts. ONE STEP AT A TIME. Dont rush baby, dont rush! - Elder Maliga

2 MONTHS DOWN BABY

"Im so happy its rediculous. YOUR challenge is accepted!! I will smile in everything I promise!! I Just cant wait to hear where you get called!! My guess is Argentina or Maryland!! You are my EXAMPLE!!! My example of everything!!!!Kindess happiness peace joy talent BEAUTY Love. TODOS!!!" -MARYLAND?! Hahahhahaha im glad to know keian still has his sense of humor!

And his Spanish is getting SO good! To say I am proud of him would be an understatement! And anyone who says "I cant describe to you in email how in LOVE I am with you. YOU ARE AMAZING!!!!" Is obviously #winning and definitely deserves a package! Xoxo

///

05/6

I remember a time when I was young sitting on my bedroom floor listening to my dad teach me about how the earth works. He grabbed a red kickball from my closet and drew a line around the ball representing the earths equator and a small dot representing where we stood. He turned off all the lights and shined a flashlight on the red ball as he turned it. I remember being so fascinated with everything he taught me. As a young girl my dad taught me many essential things along with Gods plan.

Attending church was a roller coaster in both of my families and I was never "forced" to believe the things my parents believed about the church. The times I did attend church I was happy but I never truly knew for myself whether the LDS church was true or not until I was a freshman in jr.high

As many know, my little brother Joaquin passed away January 2011. Nothing was easy during those few months. I would lock myself in my room and cry not knowing what to do or how to move forward from this situation. People would try to comfort me but the words "you DONT understand!" Came to my mind every time. One night as I was bawling desperate for comfort I turned to the lord and knelt in prayer. I had never felt such a pain in my heart but the moment I prayed for comfort a warmth rushed over my whole body and I WAS comforted. I knew I was being watched over. I knew I was loved. I knew I was not alone.

my testimony only grew as I attended seminary in high school. Many of my friends didn't enjoy seminary and chose to ditch the class rather than attend it. There temptation also grew..to go hang out with my friends..or go to class? It was a battle every time. Not going to lie I ditched seminary to go hang out with my friends every once in a while but every time I went to seminary my day went a million times better! Literally my spiritual nutrition bar! Crazy right? You might now even believe me..BUT IT IS SO TRUE.

At the end of senior year and the summer that followed I had officially moved into my dads house. My dads family wasn't active at the time and going to church was up to me. Looking to regain happiness I decided to take the leap and start going to church on my own. IT WAS HARD!! (Until I finally got my sistahh to go with me) I AM SO THANKFUL I DID THAT. I gained such a strong testimony.

Whenever people hear that I am a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints they immediately say "well you only believe because your parents made you..you grew up that way" and I'm here to say NUH-UH.

I have found absolute happiness and gained a testimony on my own for myself. Not for my parents..but for me. My parents have ALWAYS been examples to me& continue to to this day..but they never forced me to do anything and I thank them for guiding me in the right direction.

I am BEYOND excited to serve a mission& share the pure joy and true restored knowledge of the gospel to others who have yet to know! I KNOW with my whole heart that God is real , that he loves us. I know that Christ is our savior. He is our perfect example. He knows us all individually. He knows our names. He knows our pain, sorrow , anger. He knows what makes us truly happy. He knows how hilarious we are(Tehe had to) he understands us! Through the power of the Holy Ghost we are comforted and things are made known unto us. I know that we live in a time of miracles. I've been a part of many. I know God is watching out for us.He wants us to be happy and lucky us he's given us tools and guidelines to make that happen. He wants us all back in his arms. He loves you. You are his child. You are here for a reason. Your role is divine. You are a child of God.